Okay, I think I have my thoughts somewhat organized now. We'll see what comes out on my e-paper here.
Annie, as you know, is not yet walking and has never crawled. She's 13.5 months old now, and apparently this is a problem.
Anne is part of the Follow-Along program, a program from our local public health department. Every 3 months they send us questionnaires about what she is doing and we fill them out. Up until the 12 month survey she was doing just fine. However, on the 12 month survey she could not do any of the gross-motor activities they suggested. Because she scored low, the public health nurse followed up with us, and she referred us to the pediatric physical therapist in our school district. They set up a home visit and came to see Anne last night, along with the new-case manager from the Family Center. (It was nice because I know them both, but it was still kind of weird)
They watched Annie scoot, stand, and play. As they watched we talked about the assessment process and what they plan to do next. The PT believes Anne has a "significant delay" in her motor skills and so we are going to have a formal assessment done after Thanksgiving. This involves 3 more home visits and lots of questions about her movement. If her test results show a true delay (as compared to other children her age) we will make a plan for regular physical therapy until she turns 3. They did comment that Annie seems advanced in all other areas: social skills, verbal skills, fine motor, etc. We talked about how she never liked to play on her tummy and the fact that she is a "content sitter" meaning she is happy to sit and play with her toys and isn't super-motivated to move. They also commented on how shaky her standing is and the fact that she still walks on her toes sometimes. All in all it was a nice visit, but there will be much more to learn and do after Thanksgiving is over.
The Mom Perspective: It was a weirdly emotional thing, to have these 2 experts in my house analyzing my kid. I wanted to say "She's fine! She'll get it! She can't be advanced in every area, can she? Something's gotta give if she talks this much." I'm sure lots of kids don't walk right away at the time they turn one. And of course, being in education, when you hear the word "delay" you think "developmental delay" and then you think "special ed." and it makes you panic. The PT said "She's very smart, and that makes me think something (physical) is keeping her from moving. It's not that she can't figure it out, it's that something keeps her from doing it." Great, so she's deformed or something?!?! Or something is hurting her every time we put her on her tummy and that's why she cries? Maybe there's some weird spinal fusion or attached tendon or God-knows-what and she can't move her legs like she should?!?
What is most upsetting is this: More likely than not, she is totally fine. She's making progress each day and is doing WAY more than she was a month ago. So this emotional freak-out is probably completely unnecessary. But this is parenting, I guess: the hyper-analysis of everything, the attempts to take care of your kid that backfire on you (it was good to have her followed by public health, it was good to ask the doctor questions about her walking, it was good to be referred to specialists, but now I feel like crap.) It is trusting God to take care of your kid when you have done everything you can and still don't know how it is going to turn out.
To end on a happier note, she was very charming during the home visit. She stood at the coffee table, she scooted, she signed for "milk" and then drank from her cup. She opened her book, turned the pages, pointed at and said "ball". She sucked her thumb and snuggled and demonstrated "where are your socks?" a number of times. She really is a gem.
2 comments:
Corrie--You and Sam are phenomenal parents! Thanks for sharing your honest (and emotional :)) response--I can identify with the hyperanalysis as a parent. Keep me update on Annie's progress :) Teresa
PS do you know how much I miss you and Goodhue? A LOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If it helps you feel any better, I was talking well before I was walking, and it took me awhile to get on my feet. And look at me... I'm a thriving individual. And you know what's funny... I sometimes still walk on my toes. Usually when I'm cold. I'm 25 and still lose my balance sometimes(google "Attention Deficit Disorder lose balance"). Maybe she just has AD(h)D. It's still WAY to early to tell, anyway, but it obviously wouldn't be the worst case scenario at ALL. She'd grow up to have a bazillion friends with her social skills, be an owner of 10 businesses(that she will start on her own) and can take care of you in retirement with all that money... taking you on multiple vacations a year, because she can't stand to be in one city more than 6 months or she gets bored. Doesn't sound that bad, does it?
Or, Maybe she's just practicing for high-heels when she walks on her toes... and she's going to be a runway model. Yeah... ADD would be better than a model.
Maybe she just has flexibility issues in her neck so putting her on her tummy frustrates her to have to stretch her neck a certain way or something? Don't worry too much about it all. I think it's great to have the experts come to your place to at least be watching for any sort of "delays."
There are all sorts of things that parents worry about that turn out to be nothing. Jonathan apparently would NEVER sit on his parents' lap until he was almost 3 years old. He would cry and HATE sitting with them. Of course their feelings were hurt, and maybe they even thought they had a defiant child on their hands who hated to be touched. That changed overnight, though... one day, he was just fine with it. Well, I still think he's defiant, but that's just me. ;) JK.
We can make all these guesses, but she already knows sign language and she's a happy baby. She's going to be just fine.
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